On Feeling Disconnected from Community

Recently I was afforded the chance to leave town and disconnect for a few days. The trip had been planned for months so my Dad and I left with the dogs, even though it was the day that SCOTUS overturned Roe V Wade. I wanted to remain nearer the city in order to attend protests but I couldn’t back out on the trip that we were looking forward to for so long. Inevitably, it was just what my racing conscience needed. Of course, the decision from the Supreme Court came as no real surprise after the leaked document was circulated.

After finding out that they had actually overturned it, I was still very much heartbroken and angry. I know the major consequences that this will lead to, and my heart goes out to those affected by this ruling. But, I knew that my chance for activism would come, so I decided to try my best to put that horseshit out of mind and to focus on the present. For the most part I was successful in that endeavor, but it’s hard to banish those ill feelings completely.

My Dad and I went to a spot that has been a popular destination for my family since before my sister and I were born. It’s smackdab in the middle of Amish country, which means there are hardly any people and there’s absolutely zero light pollution. It was the perfect place for us to disappear for a few nights. We had a friend join us on Friday, then after she left early Saturday morning we relished in the peaceful atmosphere we occupied.

I believe that the time away helped me maintain my sanity. I can feel a bit stir-crazy if I’m cooped up in the house for too long, especially after the nationwide lockdown due to covid, so immersing myself in nature was just what the non-existent doctor ordered. I really was feeling a disconnect between myself and the country in which I reside because I can’t fully comprehend how people that can bear children can be so dismally and lowly regarded, y’know?

In my opinion, it’s more than just going backwards, it’s the willful ignorance some people have in regards to the subject. How someone can think that banning abortions will actually stop abortions from happening is beyond me. It’s utterly absurd, because the only thing it’ll accomplish is stopping access to safe abortions.

This type of thinking was running rampant in my brain and luckily I’ve since been able to quiet those thoughts for my own wellbeing. Like I mentioned, I’ll have opportunities to voice my anger, so in the meantime I’m not going to stew in it. I’m making the conscious choice to not let SCOTUS bring me down.

I will not let my anger towards them get the best of me, and start affecting my interpersonal relationships. I won’t let it! There’s enough anger and hurt in the world, I don’t wanna feel or spread it at this point in my life. I mean, obviously, I still have all of those emotions swimming through me, but I’m not letting them surface. Because fuck that! They (SCOTUS) have been making a large series of shitty and sketchy rulings and there’s only so much a singular citizen can do about it.

I’m still an activist. I just won’t allow pessimism to affect me. I simply refuse! I’m more of a Carpe Diem type of person, so you won’t catch me cryin’ about how this is the end of days. We as people of America have a lot of work to do, and we must all pull together and support one another. I’m just tired of all the division talk.

Please come together! And the government will have to listen to us! Stand by each other, I beg of you, the future is counting on all of us to help it along in any way that we can. Thank you, as always, for reading, dear reader! As cheesy as it is, we’re all in this together. And nobody’s free until all of us are free ☮️

My Dad and I spent 4.5 hours canoeing on the river, and I desperately wished we could return the next day. But, alas, we had to return home!

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